


(not) easy

by backwardreverse



Category: GOT7
Genre: M/M, OT7, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Undecided Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 06:24:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14099205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/backwardreverse/pseuds/backwardreverse
Summary: soulmates can mean more than one thing.





	(not) easy

it wasn’t surprising that jaebum was a romantic about soulmates and marks, his own parents having come from matching marks, getting together because of it - they were in high school when they first met, with their marks showing up as soon as jaebum’s father exchanged a pencil with jaebum’s mother and they touched fingers, and since then never leaving each other’s side.

that wasn’t the case for jinyoung’s life. his parents never got their marks, never met their soulmates. but jinyoung is still a hopeless romantic, maybe from the tales, novels and films he had heard about. there’s just something about marks and soulmates that he believed in.

that was why when jinyoung and jaebum saw each other for their first time during the jyp audition, and _felt_ their mark itching on their skin - finally revealing itself - that they thought: _this was it_.

the fact that their marks had shown up when they just _looked at each other_ made they think there was something more behind it - it wasn’t everyday that you found your soulmate, it wasn’t everyday that you found your soulmate in an audition without having to touch the other person. they thought it meant that, it was a beginning but also the ending of something.

unfortunately things weren’t as simple and as easy as they thought.

 

 

first of all, they could not stop arguing. no one could say they didn’t work together and _well._ when it came to performing, singing and dancing they were great, they were amazing. but, take that out and it was like they couldn’t stand each other for longer than 2 days sometimes.

it wasn’t like they hated each other, no, but both jinyoung and jaebum came at it expecting that this would be the start of something. they would click and they would realize that’s _someone_ they want to spend the rest of their lives with together, someone they would love endlessly - after all, that’s how it had been like with their parents (jaebum’s) and that’s what movies and books said about it (something that influenced both jaebum and jinyoung). and sometimes,  sometimes they did. they _clicked._

there were times where they would look at each other and know exactly what the other needed - a bottle of water, some time alone to think, help with choreography that they did not want to admit they needed because of pride, a comforting shoulder.

but other times, it was like they could not stand being together without getting on each other’s nerves. and maybe it was proof that their matching marks was true and not a mistake, because they knew _exactly_ where to poke.

there were times where both were on the edge after a hard week, with jaebum about to go off at every little noise or little movement and jinyoung not accepting any of that. it  wasn’t like jaebum was that much older than them, it wasn’t like jaebum was their leader or something, it wasn’t like every one of them weren’t also going through a hard time during their trainee period. so jinyoung would say exactly what he was thinking. he wasn’t someone who would let himself be talked and walked over, and he would let jaebum know that.

but other times, it was like this, both shaking with excitement after being told they would be debuting.

it wasn’t surprising that they would be debuting together (as soulmates, they were always in the same team. jyp couldn’t let an opportunity like this pass. soulmates? debuting together? who met each other at auditions? the media’s _reaction_ ) although they were expecting it to be mark and jackson.

as soon as they were called to the main office, they shared a worried glance at each other. now they were in one of the non used practice rooms, speechless, while sitting on the floor with tight fists clutching their jeans.

“after dream high,” jaebum started while looking down at his jeans, “after the attention we got thanks to it, i thought it could happen. but,” jaebum swallowed midwords, not knowing for sure what to say. he was still feeling the shock from the news they had received.

“didn’t expect it to be this soon?” jinyoung finished.

jaebum raised his eyes and nodded, “yeah, not this soon.” not when he had just started feeling confident in his own abilities.

“we can do this, hyung.” jinyoung stated, touching jaebum’s arm - the first time they had touched after being told to go the management’s office. jinyoung slid his hand down jaebum’s arm and took hold of jaebum’s hand, squeezing it.

looking down, jaebum nodded. they had to do this, there was no other option. he squeezed jinyoung’s hand back.

 

 

with the announcement of their debut (as a _duo_. they still couldn’t believe it would be happening.), jaebum took it as a sign that maybe this time - this time things would work.

he and jinyoung had had difficult times, jaebum thought that once you found your soulmate and your mark showed up in your skin (in his and jinyoung’s case, it was a triangle), you would not have to worry about anything else anymore. after all, that’s how his parents told him it would go and that’s how movies showed it.

once you’ve found your soulmate, the next step would be getting together. not as friends but as something more. this was someone you would love and trust the most, they would be your life partner, your companion, your _lover._

for them, it could have taken two years - longer than others but then again no one is the same. jaebum had to accept it as soon as he and jinyoung went head-to-head for the first time and didn’t talk for a week. a longer path but with the debut, maybe it meant they should take the next step now. him and jinyoung were learning how to handle each other.

 

 

it had been a few weeks since their music video was released - it hadn’t been a hit but it wasn’t all that bad. they had been chosen to do a mtv show alongside two other new groups. they would steadily climb up the world.

jinyoung had just finished filming one of their latest episodes. one of those where they would show up eating dinner at the dorm and jaebum would quietly move away from the camera still not feeling completely comfortable around it. he could tell jinyoung’s eyes had hardened and his voice had gotten sharper as he saw jaebum leaving the living room, especially after jaebum’s nonchalant response, but jaebum could not make himself stay there.

hearing jinyoung’s voice saying bye to the camera and getting up from the couch, jaebum tensed up in his bed. jinyoung’s steps got louder as the time went, sounding closer to his room, until his door finally opened.

“you could not leave me alone out there.” jinyoung said through his teeth, his hand white around the door handle, “i know you are not comfortable around the camera, i know it’s new for you but,” jinyoung closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them and staring straight into jaebum’s eyes, “it’s new for me too, you know?”

jaebum fidgeted in his bed, sitting up and clutching the sleeves of his shirt, “i know that.”

“you are seriously only going to say that?” jinyoung scoffed. he finally walked into the room and closed the door, “i can’t believe you.”

“what do you want me to say, jinyoungie?”

“i don’t know, hyung.” jinyoung leaned on jaebum’s wardrobe before continuing, “maybe i will try do better? i will try to help?”

jaebum laughed. it sounded hollow even to his own ears. god knows how many times they had this talk or something similar to this. “you would not believe me anyway.”

jinyoung crossed his arms, “maybe if you -”

“you seem to be handling it fine.” the words rushed past jaebum’s lips.

“well,” jinyoung grinned at him. it seemed like mocking but also fragile in some way, “i’m not.” _and of course, you didn’t notice_ were the words unsaid, but jaebum could hear them anyway. jinyoung always prized himself as a good actor and his somewhat new public persona was the proof. he was suddenly way more outgoing than he used to be, he was acting cuter trying to fulfill his role as maknae. it set jaebum’s teeth on edge.

jinyoung took his role so well and jaebum was still struggling through everything. he thought that after the time he had as a trainee with bambam, yugyeom and _jackson_ , finally as a hyung to people, this job as an official hyung and as a leader would be easier. that his time as hyung for jinyoung for two years would be enough but - he still worried about the same things. was he being a good example? was he good enough for them, for jinyoung to lean on him?

and he missed the other boys. he missed bambam and yugyeom fighting and playing around whenever they could, he even missed jackson’s loud self and the way he always tried to be the best no matter what, he missed mark’s calming presence and how he was always comforted in mark’s presence. it felt like cheating, like he shouldn’t - jinyoung was his soulmate, he was who jaebum was supposed to spend the rest of his life together with. but ever since they debuted and left the boys behind, it was like it got more tense between jinyoung and him. like how it was when they had just met.

 

 

their first kiss was nothing poets would write about. it was possible that none of them thought it would happen like this or that it would even take this long.

they had just finished their opening set for wonder girls’ concert, excitement and adrenaline coursing through their veins. the recordings for mtv diaries were going smoother after their talk (they still had their little slumps but who wouldn’t?) and the atmosphere with the dancers was so comfortable. jaebum didn’t feel so pressured with all the hyungs around them, he finally wasn’t the oldest and didn’t need to watch himself or set an example. he could just be himself or, at least, who he was used to be. one of the youngests in the group.

it was when they were leaving for the afterparty, the hyungs were already done with changing and got in the car, while jaebum and jinyoung were the only ones left that it happened.

their teeth clicked together, almost bumping their noses together. it wasn’t technically a _good kiss,_ but it was still their first kiss with each other. their soulmate.

laughing, jinyoung mumbled, ‘hyung,’ before putting his hand on jaebum’s face, tittling it and kissing jaebum properly. both giggling in the kiss. the euphoria still in their veins.

their first kiss was nothing poets would write about but maybe their second was.

 

 

it would have been nice to say that after it happened, suddenly everything in their relationship was fixed, they weren’t getting into each other’s nerve too much or weren’t feeling like something was missing but - things were still the same if not tenser.

jaebum would say something that would be too much and jinyoung would spat back. this hollow feeling that something was missing was always hanging around them - jaebum could _tell_ he wasn’t the only one feeling it. he could see how jinyoung leaned on mark, yugyeom, bambam and especially jackson when they would all meet. and that’s because he would do the same thing, it was the only time things seemed to be somewhat right.

they all regularly texted and called each other. after the announcement of jjp, jackson and mark were hit hard - after all, the four of them were supposed to debut together. jackson left for a time in china while mark continued practicing in korea but you could tell that his movements and face were sharper.

in some ways, both believed that once they started going towards settling their relationship as something romantic, this feeling that something was wrong would cease but it did not happen and they felt betrayed by it.

luckily, bounce promotions were about to end. but what they weren’t expecting was to be stripped from their dorm and to be trainees once again. the frustration only added up - the thoughts of trying to work that out, the subtles touches (softly holding each other’s hand, putting a supporting hand on the other’s back, the cuddles on the van or couch when they were tired) stopped. they never kissed again. the main point was debuting one last time.

once their team started taking formation; with jackson and mark joining them again, yugyeom being included, bambam joining after yg showed interest in him and lastly the new kid, choi youngjae, things got better.

 

 

“you guys are soulmates?” youngjae asked wiping his runny nose. jaebum blinked, not expecting that question.

they were finally in the last stage of preparation of their debut album, recording one of the last songs and once again, park jinyoung pd had given them harsh comments. jaebum knew youngjae got the worst of them all, not only because youngjae was the last addition and just a recent trainee overall but park jinyoung just did not seem to like the way he sings - your voice is too loud, you’re opening your mouth too much, you’re being too expressive. nothing was good enough.

even though youngjae had only been added months before, the way he perfectly completed the group was unquestionable. he really felt like the little brother jaebum never had. so, as soon as he noticed what was happening, he went out with youngjae so they could talk. this was his job as future leader and as a hyung, he couldn’t let the kids down and needed to always be there for them.

after youngjae spat out all of his insecurities, frustrations and tears, he and youngjae were sitting at jyp’s building’s roof as they drank their coffee. and then youngjae surged up with the question.

this wasn’t a question jaebum got often, neither was jinyoung. everyone in the company knew them, everyone knew they were once the soulmate golden trainees, the failed project group, so they did not need to tell anyone.

“sorry, maybe i shouldn’t have-”

“it’s okay.” jaebum answered, noticing youngjae’s nervousness, “you just caught me off guard.”

“so,” youngjae looked at him from the corner of his eye, “are you?”

jaebum took a deep breath and drank his coffee, “yeah.”

“oh.” youngjae looked at him again and turned back to his coffee, picking on the label.

“what?”

“i can see it,” youngjae mumbled, “but not really?”

jaebum let out a laugh, it sounded heavy with all the bitterness and frustrations from these three years, “it’s complicated.”

youngjae sniffed, “how so?” youngjae cleaned his nose with his sleeves before turning fully to jaebum.

“we-,” jaebum cleared his throat, “as soon as we saw each other, the mark showed up.” his hand unconsciously went to his right collarbone where his mark, a triangle, was on. the same mark that jinyoung had on his left collarbone.

“wow.”

jaebum snorted before continuing, “yeah.” he picked up one of those little rocks roofs have lying around, especially on buildings like jyp’s, and threw it far away, “you would think that means it would be easy.”

humming, youngjae wrapped his arms around his knees, setting the empty coffee cup next to him, before jaebum continued, “it’s so hard. nothing feels right, we easily get on each other’s nerves - it has gotten better but,” jaebum sighed, “the only time it feels _ok_ is when we are around you guys.”

“why is that bad?”

jaebum shook his head, “soulmates are supposed to be our other half, someone we can live with for the rest of our lives, someone we _love._ ” his eyes widened as he realized what he said, “i mean, i do love him. i do. but not like how i am supposed to.”

“hyung, i’m sorry but i don’t think that’s how it works.”

“we are soulmates, youngjae. we have each other’s mark.”

“you know,” youngjae stretched his legs and looked down at his hands, “my sister is not married to her soulmate.”

“youngja-”

“she met her soulmate in middle school. they are really good friends, but it never got past that.”

jaebum leaned his head on the wall, “why are you telling me this?”

“i think,” youngjae says taking a deep breath, “that soulmates can mean and be many things. not just because people say that it needs to be romantic, then it will be.”

“oh.”

 

 

after their debut showcase, jaebum decided to approach jinyoung. it was a moment where both of them couldn’t be happier, and it was a moment when jaebum finally realized it.

they were finally back at the dorm after a celebratory dinner, the younger members were already in bed while mark and jackson were in their room getting ready for bed which left jaebum and jinyoung alone in the living room. they probably could feel the tension around jaebum and jinyoung in the car.

“hey.” jaebum said sitting down next to jinyoung in the couch.

jinyoung nodded at him as an acknowledgment, “what have you been wanting to say, hyung?”

leaning his head on the couch jaebum turned to jinyoung, “i talked to youngjae.”

“well, i certainly hope you’re talking to the members.”

jaebum rolled his eyes, “and he told me that-,” he closed his tightly shut before making the words rush past his lips, “not every soulmate needs to be the same, not all of them need to end up together.” he didn’t know why he was so worried about telling his thoughts to jinyoung - maybe it was the fear that he had betrayed jinyoung for thinking of something like this, of him being the only one thinking like this, of what their future would bring if they didn’t agree about this.

the silence stretched between them for so long, they could hear mark and jackson chatting in their room before jaebum finally broke down, “can you say something?”

“what do you want me to say, hyung?” the irony of jaebum’s words from one year ago being said back to him didn’t go past him. it did feel like they were back in jj project’s dorm, not being able to find the right words to say to each other.

“just,” jaebum muttered, “something. anything.”

“well,” jinyoung exhaled, “i think he could be right.”

“yeah?”

“we have been trying for so many years yet it never seemed to work,” jinyoung laughed, “when we finally stepped back after the kiss and were told we were going to debut again with the boys, that’s when it felt most right. between us.”

letting his head slide down to jinyoung’s shoulder, jaebum smiled, “i’m glad.”

jinyoung’s shoulder shook as his laughed again, “why?”

“i was so scared that you were going to say something else. that you were going to disagree.”

jaebum felt jinyoung’s hand on his hair and settled down better on the couch and jinyoung’s shoulder, “don’t be so full of yourself. people can not have a crush on you.”

jaebum snorted, “you’re an asshole.”

“yeah,” jinyoung shrugged, “you still love me anyway.”

“i do, just not like that.”

 

 

it was during their debut showcase, with the seven of them, that they finally realized what was missing and why they couldn’t seem to be together just the two of them. it was when they all performed their last song and they all turned to each other. it was when they hugged before going up the stage. it was when they went down the stage and realized that got7 had debuted.

so many things could’ve happened that would’ve changed everything. mark could have decided to not eat lunch at the cafeteria the day he was casted, the scout could have thought he wasn’t worth the problem. jackson could have not won first place at the asia championship, his dad could not have allowed him to go, or maybe he could have decided that going to the olympics was more important. yugyeom could have decided to only stick to dancing. bambam could have decided to stay in thailand after going back from korea, he could have decided to never come to korea. youngjae could have not passed the audition seven months before their debut.

so many things could’ve happened but they didn’t. and maybe that’s what was missing. that’s why he and jinyoung had not started in the best way - because they were missing pieces. they were missing five pieces.

**Author's Note:**

> this took forever to finish and i couldn't have done it without tasha so thank u so muuuuch. i'll probably come back to this au one day but. anyway. feel free to @ me anytime on twitter at @ pinkyoungjaes like always!


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